Positive Ways to Deal with Negative People
Every time, i encounter pessimist, complainers and other negative people, it just draws my energy out of me. Sometimes, it just makes my day worse, or make me irritable too. It's better to stay with people who encourages u and uplifts our spirits in some way., but it is not easy to avoid negative people. Sometimes you just need to deal with them because of work, many others. These people could be your friends, family, coworkers, neighbors, and etc...
According to Jack Canfield, there are eight strategies to deal with negative people.
- Concede the negative's person's point quickly and completely. Whatever he/she complains about, tell him that you agree, then take his argument even further. This leaves the complainer with nowhere to go on the subject, and it might shut him up or elicit an admission that the situation is not really that bad
- Set conversational boundaries. Some people become negative only when certain topics are broached. Tell them that you do not wish to discuss these topics with them in the future, and ask them to agree that this is okay. (You may have to provide occasional reminders of this agreement in the future.) Do not tell them that their poor attitudes are the reason you want this restriction -- that might lead to arguments. Just say that you feel uncomfortable talking about these topics.
- Share inspirational stories. Some negative people truly believe that success is impossible. Sharing stories about the victories of others might open them up to the possibility of success in their own lives. Use stories from your own experience, or find material in biographies, memoirs and articles about successful people
- Turn complaining sessions into strategy sessions. Sometimes negativity can be transformed into a mandate for action. Tell the negative person that his complaints have merit -- so let's find a way to improve the situation. *Note: If the person complaining says that there is no point in making actions, since they will not be heard or nothing will change. Explain that things are not guaranteed to change, if they will just sit, and complain... If they take action, at least they have a chance. An example of this is on elections, if people would just vote for the right leaders, they will not complain if they made the right action... Example: A student complains endlessly about the school administration of not taking action of the problems in school. Encourage him to voice out his opinions or concerns by writing an editorial in the school paper, forming an organization that would check the admin, or etc..
- Use humor. A joke can help lift the dark cloud that a negative person can bring down upon a room. Just make sure that your jokes are about yourself or the situation and never about the negative person. Making jokes at a negative person's expense will worsen his mood.
- Separate the past from the future. Negative people often are negative because they have suffered past defeats. These people tend to shoot down ideas with statements such as "We tried that five years ago. It didn't work." Respond that while past experience is worth considering, it is not always a guarantee of what will happen in the future. The world has changed... the economy has changed... technology has changed... and the people involved have new skills. An idea that failed five years ago might succeed today. Try to explain to them that mistakes that they have made in the past, will not be made because they already know what to do. In this case, history does not repeat itself, if everyone would just be positive...
- Press for solutions. Negative people are good at telling us why our ideas will not work, but they are very bad at telling us how to overcome these problems. Whenever a negative person mentions a perceived problem, immediately ask him (and anyone else present) to come up with three potential solutions. This encourages people to focus on a solution rather than the problem. Over time, this can become a new way of thinking for them.
- Cross out the problems. When you are making plans, meetings, etc, ask each of them on what plan do they think will not work, so that you could help them focus on more meaningful, and positive ways to make a presentation or etc.. Tell them to focus on what they can accomplish..
Posts
I know some very negative people, so I will try these strategies. : )