Diamond
I just found this from one of my files, its interesting, and i want to share it you guys..

its also a bit funny and true at same time...



HOW TO TALK ABOUT MEN


This is a list of how to talk about Men and be Politically Correct:

This is a list of how to talk about Men and be Politically Correct:

He does not have a beer gut; he has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.

He is not quiet; he is a CONVERSATIONAL MINIMALIST.

He is not stupid; he suffers from MINIMAL CRANIAL DEVELOPMENT.

He does not get lost; he DISCOVERS ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.

He is not balding; he is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.

He is not a cradle robber; he prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS.

He does not get falling-down drunk; he becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.

He is not short; he is ANATOMICALLY COMPACT.

He does not constantly talk about cars; he has a VEHICULAR ADDICTION.

He is not unsophisticated; he is SOCIALLY MALFORMED.

He does not hog the blankets; he is THERMALLY UNAPPRECIATIVE.

He is not a male chauvinist pig; he has SWINE EMPATHY.

He doesn't have a dirty mind; he has INTROSPECTIVE PORNOGRAPHIC MOMENTS.

He is not afraid of commitment; he is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED

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Diamond
i have always heard this from Dad...he had this poem, even when i was still a child... i asked him before where he got it, but he said a mysterious person mailed it his mailbox. he has it written before.. i have not known that it's a poem until now..

The Road To Success is
Under Construction
by Author Unknown

Diplomacy is the art of letting someone else get your way.
Life is not no much a matter of position as of disposition.
The best vitamin for making friends, B-1.
If you don't care where you're going any road will get you there.
A pint of example is worth a gallon of advice.
He who throws mud loses ground.
Nobody raises his own reputation by lowering others.
Nothing ruins the truth like stretching it.
A smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.
Ideas won't work unless you do.
The future is purchased by the present.
One thing you can't recycle is wasted time.
Lost time is never found again.
A hard thing about business is minding your own.
Triumph is just "umph" added to try.
Caution is not cowardly, Carelessness is not courage.
He who forgives ends the quarrel.
Children need more models than critics.
Frogs have it easy, They can eat what bugs them.
The pursuit of happiness is the chase of a lifetime.
If the going gets easy you may be going downhill.
Dieters - People that are thick and tired of it.
Jumping to conclusions can be bad exercise.
The best labor saving device is doing it tomorrow.
A turtle makes progress when it sticks its neck out.
Failure is the path of least persistence.
Hard work is the yeast that raises the dough.
Patience is counting down without blasting off.
Have a backbone not a wishbone.
Some folks won't look up until they are flat on their backs.
If you want your dreams to come true, don't oversleep.
Friend - One who knows all about you and likes you just the same.
Money talks and often just says, "Good-bye".
Birds have bills too and they keep on singing.
Forbidden fruit is responsible for many a bad jam.
God's retirement plan is out of this world.
A good example is the best sermon.
The Ten Commandments are not multiple choice.
Well done! is better than, Well said!
Minds are like parachutes - they function only when open.
Live as you wish your kids would.
Swallowing your pride seldom leads to indigestion.
If you can laugh at it then you can live with it.
People don't fail, they give up.
When looking for faults use a mirror, not a telescope.
Smile, it takes only 13 muscles; A frown takes 64.
Kindness, a language deaf people can hear and blind can see.
Heaviest thing to carry - a grudge. A smooth sea never made a skillful sailor.
A small leak can sink a great ship.
You can't direct the wind, but you can adjust your sails.
We lie loudest when we lie to ourselves.
Tact is the ability to see others as they wish to be seen.
A bad conscience has a very good memory.
Hug your kids at home - Belt them in the car. One thing you can give and still keep - is your word.
A friend walks in when everyone else walks out.
If you must cry over spilled milk then please try to condense it.
Behavior is the mirror in which everyone shows their image.
Make friends before you need them.
It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it.
The smallest good deed is better than the grandest intention.
Success is … more attitude than aptitude.
Our favorite attitude should be gratitude.
The greatest of all faults is to imagine you have none.
Too many of us speak twice before we think.
Some people develop eye strain looking for trouble.
Everyone has 20/20 hindsight.
The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.
It is much easier to be critical than to be correct.
Feed your faith and doubt will starve to death.
It is no crime not to be perfect.
If others have sinned you need not mention it.
No man knows less than the man who knows it all.
Patience carries a lot of wait.
One who lacks courage to start has already finished.
A quitter never wins, A winner never quits.
Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often.
Break a bad habit - Drop it.
Don't learn safety rules simply by accident.
Failing to prepare We prepare to fail.
Past failures are guideposts for future success.
There is no right way to do a wrong thing.
There can be no rainbow without a cloud and a storm.
If your dreams turn to dust…vacuum.
Money is a good servant but is a cruel master.
Seek joy in what you give not in what you get.
Procrastination is the thief of time.
Success comes in cans Failure comes in can'ts.
Anger is one letter short of danger Greatest remedy for anger is delay.
2/3 of promotion is motion.
Having a sharp tongue can cut your own throat.
Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important .
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